What Autism Looks Like in Everyday Life
Understanding autism is an ongoing opportunity to deepen awareness, recognize strengths, and reflect on how inclusion can be supported in everyday environments.
When people hear the word “autism,” they often
have a fixed idea of what it looks like. But in reality, experiences vary
widely.
Sarah and Amanda, two of Surrey Place’s Lived
Experience Associates, have been supporting autistic people through their work
and are both aunts to an autistic nephew.
“My nephew is so smart, but he has his own
struggles,” says Sarah, reflecting on both her personal and professional
experiences.
Amanda shares a similar reflection. “[My nephew]
gets judged a lot. Everyday things can be hard for him but he’s also funny and
very sweet.”
Routines and Predictability are Key
For many families, daily life is supported by
structure and predictability.
Liz Phipps, a member of Surrey Place’s Family
Advisory Council and a parent to her son, Jack,
who is autistic, says, “my son’s day is largely shaped by routine. Things go more
smoothly when the day follows a familiar pattern.”
Even everyday outings often involve preparation.
“For Jack, even a trip to a store takes preparation,” Liz explains. “We review
it ahead of time, follow the same route through the aisles, and use headphones
if it’s too overwhelming.”
Amanda also reflects on the importance of
routine in her nephew’s life, “he really relies on routine,” she says. “Changes
can be hard for him.”
Fostering Inclusion in Community Spaces
Unpredictability can be challenging, and busy
environments, unexpected changes, or sensory sensitivities can make everyday
outings more complex. That’s why flexibility and understanding from others can
create more inclusive experiences.
“Inclusion shows up in small ways,” says Liz,
speaking about Jack. “Neighbours acknowledging him like they would any other
child. Stores or programs showing patience and flexibility.”
Amanda emphasizes everyday actions that support
inclusion: “Be patient. We all learn differently. Accept people as they are.”
Sarah adds that environmental awareness also
matters. Considering things like noise, lighting, and the availability of
quieter spaces can make community settings more accessible.
Different Strengths and Abilities
School can also be an environment where children
and teens with autism show different strengths and face challenges. Through her
experience, Sarah has seen how the right school environment can make a
difference. “My nephew loves school and is in a great setting that supports
him,” she says.
At the same time, Liz highlights the importance
of recognizing and understanding that disability
means having different strengths and abilities.
“I felt teachers sometimes didn’t think my son was capable because of his
behaviours,” she explains. “I had to remind them of his abilities, not just
what they were seeing in that moment.”
Strengths often show up in unique and meaningful
ways. Sarah recalls, “My nephew asked Santa for a periodic table and a
telescope when he was six. He just loves to learn.”
Amanda sees that same persistence in her nephew.
“He tries very hard with his schoolwork,” she says.
Adapting Communication Styles
Communication is essential in our everyday, but
it’s not one-size-fits-all. For many families with children with autism or a
disability, it
takes time to learn to adapt their own communication styles.
“I’ve learned to be more patient,” says Amanda, “he doesn’t always understand
right away.”
Sarah emphasizes the importance of clarity and calm
communication. “Be clear and direct. Stay calm and patient. Help them
understand what you’re asking. I’ve learned to be more understanding when he
gets frustrated,” Sarah adds. “When things are hard, there is usually a reason
behind it.”
Family Tip:
Clear
communication, patience, and noticing early signs of overwhelm can help support
emotional regulation and prevent escalation.
Practical Ways to Support Inclusion in Everyday Life
While Sarah, Amanda and Liz come with different
perspectives, the message is clear: autism is not always visible, and
assumptions can lead to misunderstanding.
“Behaviour is not about him being ‘bad,’” Liz
explains. “It’s about communication or feeling overwhelmed.”
“Don’t limit them from being their true self,”
says Sarah.
Amanda adds, “We are all human beings. Accept
everyone.”
Small, thoughtful actions can make everyday spaces
more inclusive. Here are 6 ways to we can start:
1. Be
patient and allow extra time for preparation.
2. Use
clear and plain communication.
3. Respect
routines and help prepare for changes when possible.
4. Be
mindful of sensory environments like noise and lighting.
5. Avoid
making assumptions based on behaviour.
6. Include,
acknowledge, and engage, just as you would with anyone else
A Journey of Learning and Growth
For many families, understanding autism is an
ongoing process.
“I am still learning,” says Amanda, reflecting
on her experience as an aunt.
“It is a journey,” says Liz, “with ups and
downs, successes and challenges. Celebrate the small wins.”
Building awareness is a reminder that being
purposeful and creating everyday actions can make big differences. With greater
awareness, patience, and small, intentional choices, we can help create spaces
where autistic people feel supported, included, and valued.
If you’re looking for support, resources, or guidance, we offer a range of autism services for children, youth, and families.
Connect
with us to learn how we can support you at every stage of your journey.
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